Hiatus

It’s been quite a while since I wrote about anything that has been happening in our lives. I hit some sort of a slump several months ago and have had a hard time digging out. I haven’t been journaling, documenting, knitting, beading; all the things I say over and over that are important to me. And yet I ignore them.

I made a goal for the New Year to ‘journal every day. NO EXCUSES’. Seriously. I think I even wrote it down that way. Well guess what? This is the FIRST time I have taken (figurative) pen to paper.  I guess I should be feeling some small sense of accomplishment that I have actually made some sort of move in the right direction. But I am worried about what I might have missed in those months that I was ‘on hiatus’. I imagine I will remember the big things that have happened but, what about the little things? What about the snippets of conversation that I said ‘oh, I don’t want to forget that’? What about the crazy things that come out of Kaitlyn’s mouth that made me stop and laugh out loud like “I’VE GOT TO GO TO THE CRAPPER’ as she runs through the house? (Ok, that one I will definitely remember). What about those little things that just make all of us well, us? I know I can’t go back so I just need to move forward with renewed purpose. I need to sort through my priorities and make them just that, priorities. I imagine I will miss sitting on the couch reading Supernatural Fan Fiction at night but hey, I can always write about it.

Tonsils anyone?

Kaitlyn, today we found out that you need to get your tonsils and adenoids taken out. You have been coughing since Thanksgiving and we have exhausted all other avenues. You have been on antibiotics, steroids, cough medicines, inhalers and nebulizers oh my! Seriously, you are a walking medicine cabinet and we are all about done with it, I imagine you most of all.

Needless to say you were not happy to hear this news. Your ginormous tonsils have brought a uniqueness to and you said you would feel less special without them. Well let me tell you little girl, you are about the most special girl on the planet. Tonsils, schmonsils. You would be unique and special and amazing even if you never had tonsils. And don’t you ever think anything different. So, I’ll tell ya what. Let’s take a picture of those bog ol’ tonsils and I’ll make you cards that you can hand out to people when you meet them. ‘Hello, my name is Kaitlyn and here are my enormous tonsils’. What’s your name?’ Whatta think? Will that work for you?

I love you, tonsil-less and all.

Momma

This post brought to you by my constricted lungs

After spending the day trying not to hack up a lung, I finally acquiesced and went to urgent care at 7:30 last night. An hour and a half, one breathing treatment and four prescriptions later my lungs are throwing me kisses. It's amazing how I spend 9 hours coughing and not think it's something more than a cold. (What's more amazing is why the people who sit outside my office didn't mutiny and physically escort me from the office to save themselves from my excessive hacking.) Oh, and cough syrup with Codeine is not a bad thing. Just saying....

Life as we know it will never be the same

For his 10th birthday Aidan received a gift certificate for the 'Newbie Weekend' at our area paintball field. I had no doubts that he would absolutely love it, but the depth of his excitement took me off guard. In addition to talking incessantly about it all night, he spent the better part of 2 hours pouring over paint ball 'markers' on my iPad and compiling a list of the ones he would like for Christmas. So, after a conversation about setting expectations, he now understands that IF he gets a paint ball marker for Christmas, he will NOT be getting a $700 one. (I have a sneaking suspicion that the he still
doesn't believe me.)

Family

Today I learned that my Uncle died. There were no tears on my part. Some sadness for sure, but in the big scheme of things there will be very little impact on my life. I don't say this in a cruel manner, but just as a reality. I have not seen or spoken to my Uncle in, I am guessing, over 20 years. My children do not know who he is. It's hard to explain to kids that they have aunts and uncles that they have never met. Especially since they have never met their grandparents, the brother and sister of these aunts and uncles. There is no context for them. What do I say? This is grandma, whom you've never met. And this is her sister, who you've also never met. Yes, she's my Aunt but I haven't spoken to her since before you were born. Why? Because families fall apart when the glue that binds them is missing. The glue? That would be Grandma, my mother. The lynch pin in family dynamics. My fathers side of the family has done better at keeping us in the the family, so to speak. Mainly because Aunt Ali took the charge. But my Mom's side, not so much. I think there was too much dysfunction in their own family circles to contend with keeping us in too, especially after Cioci and Grandma died. So, we drifted apart. So far so that the news of my Uncles' death is sad, but not devastating. And truth be told, most of my sadness is selfish. From feeling sad for my kids, for how small their family circle has become. It is most certainly not the childhood I grew up with. Aunts and Uncles and Cousins at every holiday and summer barbecue. Sunday dinner at Grandmas. Now, don't misunderstand, I am not saying that these family events were always a good thing, because a large portion of my family is c-razy! However, they did provide a sense of tradition that I think my kids miss out on, especially now that we have moved. Fortunately, we have friends that expand our circle. Friends that they call Aunt and Uncle and Cousin. Because for them it's not about blood. It's about who they feel loved by. Either way, I am thankful for everyone who makes them feel loved. Hopefully there will be no more 'unknown relatives' in their lives.

Being Human

So last night Frank and I watched the season 3 finale of Being Human UK version (the only version to watch really, although I will admit to watching the US version only to satisfy my ridiculous obsession with this program in-between UK episodes). In any event, just as the episode was starting I was surfing my iPad to see when season 4 was going to start (see? obsessed.) Well, not my smartest moment because imagine my surprise when my favorite character, I mean my all-time favorite vampire character is NOT, I repeat is NOT in the promos for the next season. So, do I stop there and wait until after the season 3 finale to see what happens? Oh no. No, no, no. I have to go fishing and Google 'Aidan Turner Season 4 Being Human'. And what do I find? THIS:

Aidan Turner Departs BEING HUMAN

and then THIS!

"...we won’t spoil the finale except to say it’s an exit for which a vampire has no return."

Seriously Connie? Could you be more a child of 'instant gratification'? Anyway, believe it or not, this still did not prepare me for what was to come. Nor, did I expect that I would cry at Mitchells' death knowing it was coming. But I did. I can't remember that last time I cried during a TV show, but the scene was that powerful. Well, at least to a vampire, werewolf kind of fan it was.

So now to wait and see how Mitchells death affects the next season. I'm holding out faith that the writers and remaining characters can keep the show as compelling as the previous seasons.

UPDATE: As I was searching for the links to the original article on Aidan Turners' leaving, I find THIS:

Russell Tovey has explained his decision to quit Being Human.

The actor revealed last week that he will no longer play werewolf George on the BBC Three drama.

Damn you Google. I mean how much is one fan supposed to take? Two main characters gone???Don't know how long I'll be sticking with this one.

Today is the first time in my entire life that I am decidedly NOT excited about my birthday.